THE DEVIL AND i

No, dear blog reader. The title of this blog does not contain a typographical error! The i is indeed lower case because it is not about me (as in "I"), but i as in iPhone, iPad, and any other gadget prefixed by i! At this point I need to confess that I am typing this on my brand new iPad 2, so am fully qualified to expound on the iniquity of i-anything. My name is Fiona and I am an iPad addict. Please help me! At this point I can hear a chorus of sympathetic "Hello Fionas" from fellow addicts. For the rest of you, those who are free, let this be a cautionary tale. You can never say you weren't warned.

For years I taught that when Adam was forbidden to eat from a particular tree in the garden of Eden, it was not a specific fruit tree. Indeed it was the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil that was prohibited. With scorn I listened to preachers speak of Eve eating an apple, marvelling at their lack of Biblical accuracy. Well, it is 2011, (and I missed the deadline for my June blog so will double blog in July for conscience sake, as I have not yet converted to Catholicism - see SHARKS HAPPEN if you don't know what I am talking about ), and I have changed my mind. I now realise those apple-in-Eden guys had an edge on the rest of us.

How is that you may ask? Have I entered into a realm of deception which comes from watching too many Crime and Investigation shows and conspiracy theory movies?

No! I have come to believe that the devil heard all the apple preachers and developed a diabolical idea to enslave the human race once more. Sin had already gripped mankind! How to capitalize on that? Voila!!! APPLE!!!! And so the computer magicians, demonically inspired, created APPLE, and a new level of sin and slavery entered in the 20th century. As the end times approach, new and improved methods of bondage are released annually. What a coup!

Think of it. Wars have erupted between erstwhile friends, who now trade insults on Twitter on the relative merits of berry and deciduous fruits. All the fruit wars have seen a great escalation in another kind of fruit, which is strangely called FLESH and not meat. The fruits of the flesh have grown orchards as the fruit wars are waged. Pastors' getaways (at least ours) are reduced to name-calling and one- upmanship. ( I heard a joke once that said soccer is a game played by 22 men and after 90 minutes the Germans win. Our personal inter-church fruit wars continue for days, weeks, months, and Hilton Greig wins!)

Envy, jealousy, factions, pride, hair pulling, insults, nose twitching..... Oh dear, I could go on and on, describing the hand to hand and word by word warfare, instigated and sustained by............. APPLE!!! The superiority of APPLE over every and any other form of gadget has been debated and proved beyond any doubt. They have even coined a term for it : if you use APPLE or i anything you have THE COOL FACTOR!

So this is my revelation. It is no coincidence that this new method of slavery has echoes of Eden. Look at it, says the devil! Can't you see how wise and wonderful and powerful you will be if you own one. You MUST taste it and see how delicious it is. You NEED one, and then you can gloat over all the losers who aren't cool like you. Think how you will feel with an iPad 2 instead of an iPad 1! Yes, I said, and bought one. Am I thrilled? Oh yes indeed!

Isn't it amazing how enticing sin can be? Of course I am not talking about my new iPad 2. That was all tongue in cheek, which I really hope you know, especially as I also use and enjoy my Blackberry Torch and my PC. But if the devil DID offer you a bite of something forbidden, it might be very hard to resist. And that, dear friends, is how sin works.

Till next time, be blessed.
Fiona

Comments

  1. very true we can get all mixed up when we mistake a tool (thats all any gadget is) for being a status symbol. Enjoy your wrighting and your ministry on kim`s site...thanks

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