ANOTHER WEDDING FROM THE MOTB

Christie and Sid's wedding has come and gone, and this month's blog is dedicated to my only child's nuptials. So many of you enjoyed my blog about Pam and Stef's wedding that I have been asked to give the lowdown, and a behind the scenes look at the "Other Arrow's" big day as well. So where to start?

First of all, who would ever imagine that their only daughter, a passionate rock drummer, would be led by the God of the universe, Who directs the steps of the righteous, to fall in love with an equally impassioned drummer? Who could have conceived a drum studio downstairs in their house. (We share a home; two separate dwellings under one roof, but as life dictates, the drum studio is located directly underneath my lounge.) When Christie was a teenager drums overtook my living quarters in a very real way, invading the dining room, the landing at the top of the stairs, my office, and on top of every available surface. In those days her bedroom was in what is now the drum studio. This is a large room, double the size of my bedroom, with an adjoining bathroom, both lovingly fitted by me, the mother, with an abundance of cupboards, suitable for storing all excess drum equipment. I felt I had a right to be aggrieved when drums multiplied themselves and encroached into every available space in my house, drum pedals tripped me up, sets of drumsticks were found in cutlery drawers, and drum shoes (yes, really), were carefully placed on kitchen counters. When I remonstrated with her, Christie was appalled. She reminded me how much more space I had to live in than she did. It was useless to remind her that although this was her home, legally it was MY house. I now take consolation in thinking of how many drummers these two musical prodigies will produce, and how they are going to have to accommodate their offspring's gear!

However, that lies in the future. Let me return to the past, to the weeks leading up to May 19th, 2012. Sid and Christie had been attracted to one another for over three years, but only officially started dating the day after he graduated from bible college at the beginning of December. That first date set the standard for what was to follow. I have a deeply romantic and sensitive soul as a son-in-law. All you men readers may now groan and gag, but Sid is the gold standard for romance. That date was an all day affair, incorporating roses, a special breakfast at a favourite restaurant, more roses and chocolates, a packed picnic,and a sunset serenade on the beach.

On we move to THE PROPOSAL! Christie had gone off to Israel with her cousin in order to finish writing her book on Israel, Islam, and the current world crisis, when Sid came up with the idea of flying over to Israel to propose. All I have to say about this is that it took secrecy, a few friends, a lot of help, and plenty of chutzpah, but in February he strode purposefully across a restaurant in Jerusalem, ring in hand, got down on one knee in front of his shell-shocked beloved, and uttered the time honoured words, "Will you marry me?" Never has a prospective fiancée been so utterly confounded. We have the full episode on DVD, thanks to Kim Clement and Sunil Isaacs. Christie's cousin, Jenna, knowing the plan, had tried to get Christie to fix her make-up. The DVD captures this conversation, with Christie, blissfully unaware of what was about to transpire, holding forth to Jenna on the benefit of brown skin over white skin. Her point was that brown skin always looks good and doesn't need the cover of white skin. She had just got to the part about a fat brown stomach being infinitely superior in appearance to a fat white stomach, when Sid appeared, whereupon she stood rooted to the spot, hands over her mouth, and then collapsed against him for more than two minutes. I know this because of the timer on the camera. She finally YELLED, "YES I WILL MARRY YOU", and instantly had to lie down on her back on the floor before her legs collapsed under her.

And on we move, rapidly, to the wedding. Or rather, to preparations for the wedding. Enter Cheslyn Hemsley, organizer of note, gifted by God to produce miracles of a festive order with no apparent effort. Blessed is the pastor and mother of the bride (me, to be exact), who has a Ches on call. She was dealing with a bride, who when asked by her mother (me), what she was going to wear, replied with great insouciance, "I don't have a clue Mom. But I know exactly what shoes I want; Jeremy Scott white shoes with wings!" It took a lot of coaxing from her friends, including her precious dress designer, Debbie Jones, to get her to even look at fabric. This feat was accomplished two weeks before the wedding day. A special crown is reserved in heaven for Debbie. When Christie picked me up from the airport upon my return from America, she told me that she had chosen the fabric and style that very day. She gave "the dress" the biggest compliment she could pay it, especially as it was still fabric, and the proposed design was still in Debbie's creative brain. "I can tell you this, Mom," she declared earnestly. "If Adidas made wedding dresses, this would be IT!" 

So this was the bride Ches was dealing with. Sid was equally undemanding. Between the two of them they gave Ches carte blanche to perform whatever miracle she wanted, with the proviso that it had to be a breakfast buffet, including a chocolate fountain, muesli, and lots and lots of candy, and that it had to have a happy feel like a child's party. Think Willy Wonka meets Disneyworld. And naturally Ches produced something that Sid described to me today. He said that even as they were telling Ches what they would like, he had no idea what it should look like, yet as he came into the church, he realized that it was EXACTLY what they had envisioned without the capacity to envision. An aisle created with two rows of candy. Tables scattered with edible goodies. Fantasy suspended creations. You actually need to look at the pictures, because any description I attempt will do it no justice. The buffet, in another room, was a work of art, chocolate fountain and all.

This couple wanted nothing traditional, but they DID want to have fun and enjoy their day,and they did both. The bridesmaids were dressed in whatever style they wanted, each having been assigned a pastel colour. The only nod to uniformity was that they all wore white Adidas shoes, tied with ribbons that matched their dresses. Adidas worship extended to the flower girls and page boys, attired in Adidas track suits, and in the case of the girls, tutus with track suit jackets. The bride and groom both wore white Adidas shoes with wings. I dare you to guess what shoes the groomsmen, debonair in denim and bow ties, were required to wear.

When Christie and her father entered the church, smiling broadly, it was to follow a drum line of a number of drummers, wending their way down the aisle and onto the stage, beating a variety of drums, to a traditional African sound. The bridesmaids had already entered, in pairs, carrying large, colourful lollipops. The bride's bouquet was comprised of a few large lollipops tied together with baby's breath and a few flowers. The ceremony was delightful, the crowning moment being the couple's reaction upon being presented as Mr and Mrs Sidney Rash. Both of them flung their arms sky high, like a couple of victorious boxers, and punched the air. This was not a demure, veiled bride, but a rock chick married to her guy. Another prize moment for me was when Sid exchanged his white-winged sneakers for blue suede shoes, and together with musician friends, performed Elvis' "Blue Suede Shoes" while actually wearing them. But this was after the two of them, instead of the traditional first dance, performed their favourite Jack Johnson song, Sid singing and accompanying himself on guitar, and Christie, jembe over her wedding gown, beating the rhythm.

I think every couple should plan a wedding that expresses who they really are. As someone who has the privilege of conducting weddings for friends, congregation members, and sometimes for people I barely know, I am always eager to encourage the bride and groom to plan a function that THEY will enjoy. It is really not about the guests. It is not about the food. It is not about outdoing someone else. It is all about expressing to one another, in front of those privileged to be invited to share the occasion, your love for one another, and your decision to spend the rest of your lives together. Christie and Sid did exactly that. Just this week they had wedding rings tattooed onto their wedding fingers; not actual rings, but FOR ETERNITY in Hebrew. And it made me think of the eternal love that Jesus has for His bride, and how we can anticipate our wedding day with the same expectant delight Sid and Christie had anticipating their special day. They KNEW that Ches would make it everything they could ask for, and then some. And she did, even arranging a special wedding newspaper, filled with messages from their friends, as mementoes to remember that day. But we can only shiver in delighted anticipation, knowing that "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what He has laid up for us!"

What a day that will be. Make sure you are at THAT wedding. You can miss anyone else's, but make absolutely sure you are ready for the wedding of The Lamb. See you there. God bless. Fiona